tesibria

Leaving Home and Coming Home

It's soooo hard to leave home.  And, Shanghai has become home to us over the past five years.  Despite the challenges, I love this absolutely gorgeous city.  I've loved making our apartment our home.  I've been blessed to get to know some fabulous friends.  

And I have fallen utterly in love with, and become godmother to, two amazing, adorable children here.  And my heart is breaking everyday that I will no longer be seeing them every morning and afternoon.  It does help some that I already have my ticket for a two-week August visit so I can be with them when they start Year 2 at school, and future trips are being planned too.  But still.  Just. So. Hard.  

A big part of me does not want to leave home.

 

It's sooo exciting to be coming home.  And, Phoenix is home too.  I'm so excited that I'll be only a few hours away from my siblings -- only 1 or 2 time zones, rather than 12-14.  I can't wait to get to babysit my granddaughter.  I can't wait to reconnect "live" with friends back in Phoenix,  to get involved again in working to make Phoenix and Arizona better places to live, to cheer on the DBacks and Cardinals and Suns and Coyotes (live).  I can't wait to go flying with LOML and to ride Big Yellow with him.  And I can't wait for a DRY heat summer (instead of the incredibly humid Shanghai summer).  And I'm very excited that we will be living downtown (or much closer anyway) Phoenix.

A big part of me can't wait to get home.

 

Torn between two homes; both heartbroken and excited.  That's how it is right now we finish out our last few days in Shanghai.  

 

 

 

On making this house our home

Way back on October 9, I was all excited about the fact that our delivery was scheduled to arrive.  Well.  Suffice it to say that that was a bit (understatement) of a ShangLow kind of day because there was a substantial amount of damage to our "stuff" -- and, if that wasn't enough, they completely lost a tall dresser -- full of all my undies, socks, swim suits, pjs, etc, a wicker chest -- full of all our CDs, DVDs, and miscellaneous "stuff," and all of our pots and pans except for one.   :::sigh:::  As I said at the time, it's all just "stuff."  But, still -- we're still in the "claims process."  As in, we've submitted our claim and will wait and see what happens.  I find myself singing, "This is the move that never ends .. it just goes on and on my friend ... "  ... ... 

All that being said, I have so very much to be thankful for.  And, well, about 80% of our stuff -- including the "stuff" with the most sentimental value -- did arrive undamaged.  It was so much fun to unpack individual pieces and be thrilled that they were safe, then find special places to put them. 

And, while I was worried that I'd packed way too much stuff, I was very surprised as I put stuff away to find out that I really didn't!! Shocking.  Ok, I did find a couple things here and there that I don't need here.   (Since there are magnetic door stops on every door, I really don't need the half dozen door stops I brought.)  But, I've put away virtually everything and, believe it or not, we still have ample closet space and storage space.  (Ok, the camping stuff is BIG - too big to put in a closet, so that stuff stays in the monster gray tubs, but - that's a size issue, not a too-much stuff issue.)  And, even accounting for the space necessary to add in all the missing/damaged items whenever they get fixed and/or replaced, I think we'll be just fine with a bit of room to spare.

And, it's amazing how adding our "stuff" makes this place feel -- well -- like our "home."  I'm loving it. To be sure, there's stuff still to do (isn't that always the case).  And, to be sure, it's a different kind of home.  (That there are so few physical books is very very weird to me. But that's just how it is when you can only bring X number of books with you.) 

But -- all that being said, I am really enjoying this space -- and making this space "ours."  So, let me take you for a bit of a pictorial tour of our home:

Arriving from the elevator.  Ok, yes, that gold is ::cough cough:: just a tad overwhelming.  But, it it what it is.  I tried to soften it with woven rug and basket and one of my mom's paintings.

Now about the shoes.  I always thought that it was just a cultural custom to take one's shoes off before entering.  (I'm faced with just how ... uneducated I am about many things each day.)  It is a custom.  But - like many many old customs, it's also health-based. Shoes supposedly carry in the majority (I heard about 80% from one source) of the harmful particulates one has in one's home.  Once in the home, they get caught up in the ventilation and then in the air we breath.  So, by leaving shoes out in the foyer, we can substantially reduce our indoor air pollution.  The brown cupboard there is full of my shoes.  Jeff's shoes would only fit sideways.  (Mine barely fit - I guess we both have larger-than-average feet.)

I had been half-heartedly following the custom for the first month we were here -- and inwardly giggling when I'd be riding the elevator down and see someone's foyer literally covered with what looked like dozens of shoes. 

Now that I know the health "why" for doing so, I've become rather religious about it.  And I moved a chair out there to make it easier to put shoes on and off too.  (The deer pelt was a wonderful Christmas present from my sister-in-love and her love.  I'm trying to hide the fact that this is an extra dining room chair -- and trying to deflect from all that gold tone too.) 

The shopping bags are hanging right beside the elevator button -- because I kept forgetting to take one with me.  Thank goodness for Command Strips, Hooks, and Hangers.  Our cement-hard plaster walls would be utterly bare without them. 

Ok, moving on -- or, rather, in -- to our living/dining "great" room ... with a view:

While less than half of the "stuff" here is from our Phoenix home, the other stuff pretty much matches the style we had so it's enough to make it feel like home to us.  Actually, the layout and landlord/new pieces remind me more of my place in Chicago -- which I loved very much.  I'll take some night pictures at another time -- it's much more dramatic than daytime hazy pictures.  (Yes, that's haze today you see outside the windows.  AQI has been in the "unhealthy" range for two days now.  I understand November is the worst month for air pollution in Shanghai.  And this seems to be true so far.) 

The one-legged coffee table remains on the floor behind the couch.  (My Facebook friends know that this was one of the casualties of the movers.  I am haven't given up hope that adjusters will find a way to fix it -- and if they don't, I will.  So we'll just live without a coffee table/footstool/movie-night-pizza-table/stuff collector for a while longer.)  And the wall facing the dining room table is right now a very stark white wall -- which presents the perfect excuse for Saturday street shopping to find something to add color there.

I always wanted a full-length standing mirror -- and had no full length mirror here -- and we had a big blank wall to fill up -- and they're cheaper here than I've ever seen them in the US, so it seemed the perfect opportunity to get one. So, I did.  Just a couple days ago - from IKEA.

Now, I'm scared of these incredibly hard plaster walls after striking out trying to get picture hangers to work. 

(I tried about seven different ways recommended for plaster walls on Pinterest and other places.  None of them worked.  Even with Ook hangers.  Fortunately, I did my "testing" on the wall behind where I knew we were going to put the bed.  It's not a pretty sight.)  

Anyway, since we have two cats (and since I can be incredibly clumsy at times), I was afraid to just let it sit up against the wall.  So, I decided to splurge ($11.66) and have the IKEA guys come and secure it to the walls.  They just came today!  And -- I have to say that I love it.  It brings the light from the big living room windows back into the long hallway from the kitchen to the bedrooms.   (And, given that the cats have already tried to climb behind it, I'm thinking that this "splurge" was the right thing to do.) 

Now, on to the kitchen:

So, it's a basic galley kitchen.  It seems like There is a lot of storage, but it's "weird-to-us" storage.  There are only two shallow drawers - with hard dividers in them.  And the dividers are such that steak knives and the like are too big.  And, well ... I guess having a kitchen junk drawer is a foreign concept here.   Instead, there are just lots and lots and lots of shelves.  And they're short shelves - our wine glasses barely fit --and only barely fit on one shelf in one cupboard.  And they're not adjustable.  (I tried.  Another "whoops" that I have "fixed" with a combination of toothpaste and baking soda.) 

And the shelves under the counter are very deep - i.e., lots of wasted space, or inconvenience if you have to pull out all the stuff in front to get to the stuff in back.  (I'm not a cook, but even I can tell that this kitchen was not designed by a cook.)  Anyway, workaround queen that I try to be, I re-purposed one of the plastic organizers I brought with me as a junk drawer, and then got a couple tubs and made "drawers" in the two cabinets on either side of the stove.  It's not perfect, but it works to hold cooking utensils, measuring cups, etc., lids to pots and pans (the pots and pans went missing from our shipment, but the lids made it), and plastic storage containers.

I have to say that I just love the pull-out pantry -- and just made a magnetic wall since the fridge/freezer (beside the pantry) isn't magnetic.  It works -- for us anyway.

Also have to say that I love having a separate laundry room.  (Ok, so the machines don't work that great -- two sheets and two pillowcases are too much - have to do one sheet at a time....takes more than an hour to wash and nearly two to dry.) BUT there's room to move anyway.  I like it as organized.  And, for now, we have a sort of "wine cellar."  Ok.  Have I mentioned that drinkable wine is incredibly expensive here comparatively?  Well.  It is -- as in about three times the cost of the exact same bottle in the US - at least.  (And I'm just talking drinkable.  The "good" stuff is astronomically expensive.)   So when I find something on sale (so it's only about twice as much as in US), I get a few.  Well, last weekend Carrefour had a wine fair, with really great deals, so I stocked up. 

I will have to find an alternative wine storage system come Spring:  these two rooms are not climate controlled, so they will get way too hot next summer.  However, for now, the back room works great as storage room/wine cellar. 

There used to be a door between the two rooms, but it was just in the way, so I took it off and stuck it behind the shelving in the ayi room. 

As an(other) aside, I find it rather appalling that the "ayi room" -- designed for a live-in maid -- is uncooled/unheated!!  These rooms are sweltering in the summer and I can only assume they are going to be very very cold in the winter.  Weird.  There's also a mini-bathroom back there, with toilet, tiny sink, and shower head.  It's like being on a boat - just close the door and take a shower along side the sink and toilet.  Here - in our place - that bathroom stores the kitty carriers and a few other similar things that aren't climate-sensitive.  Anyway, I'm rambling (again).  Sorry. 

Ok -- out of the kitchen and back the hall to .. YOUR room. You know, when you come visit us?  Yes.  The sheets are fresh, the bed is made, flowers are fresh, and space is reserved in the closet of our Guest Room.   (And, we we have overflow space in my office too!)  I'm so looking forward to having visitors!

We are also blessed in that we each have our own office. Jeff's is out adjacent to the living room (which is great for when he has the very late night or very early morning calls), while mine is between the guest room and our bedroom. 

My office has a sleeper sectional ... just in case we get a family of visitors.  (I promise to relocate the litter box for the duration of your visit!!)   On a typical day though, this is pretty much an all purpose room:  my office, kitty hangout, my closet, etc.  And, the sectional -- or rather the pillows on the sectional -- serve as Gracie's safe place when the door bell rings, and her cave --  where she hides all the (fake) mice, tissues, bits of string, and whatever else she decides to horde in her special place....(It's going to be fun finding art to add color to these white walls.)

Jeff's office, adjacent to the living room, is smaller - but he also has the killer view of the river.  And he has his own bathroom.  It's a cute little office - with only one white wall for which we get to find some cool art or something to hang. 

Finally, our bedroom:  this one is still very much a work in progress as we are missing our TV stand aka tall dresser, and the walls are very bare, and we'll be looking for a rug to warm the floor (literally and figuratively), but we have the most important piece:  our bed!  I am soo thrilled to have our bed back.   And so are the cats.  We all sleep better now, to be sure!

It's also rather awesome to have a bath with a view, although it's not so great that the shower in the master bath is essentially nonfunctional.  I mean - it works - but it's a corner shower.  And the shower head sprays straight out -- onto the door.  If the door is closed.  If not, then it sprays right out onto the bathroom floor.

This wouldn't really be a big problem if you could just get in, close the door, then turn on the shower.  However, unless you're into ice-cold showers, you can't do that here.  You have to turn on the water for a good 5 minutes, then check it.  (Usually, at 5 minutes, it's "not freezing.")  Then check it again.  (Usually, but not always, at 10-12 minutes, it's lukewarm, so bearable.)  And, given the showerhead configuration, this means opening up the door at least three times with the shower head blasting water -- right out the door.  (I can only assume that the designer never took showers -- or didn't know about how long it takes to get water warm in these apartments.  Or maybe s/he was just a fan of freezing showers.)

So -- we shower in the hall bathroom, which actually is bigger so better anyway.  And, the good part is that if you get in the shower when it's warm, it'll be hot by the time you've shampooed your hair once, so ... I've learned to take warm-to-hot showers.  Of course, regardless of where we shower, we have to keep in mind that water just continues heating up.  So we have to adjust constantly to avoid it getting scalding hot. Essentially, it's like being on a boat:  one hand on the faucet, one hand to shower with.  (I'm exaggerating only a little teensy bit.  It's kinda crazy.  But you get used to it.)

Notice the bathrobe hanging on the door in the bathroom? Yes!!! Though I lost all my undies, socks, pjs, bathing suits, etc. etc., My bathrobe made it!! Yaaaay.

Anyway, the good thing (or, rather, another good thing) is that, after some repairs, the jacuzzi bathtub works.  And it's wonderful!  For me, the idea of a bath has always been way more appealing than actually taking one.  Five minutes after I got in, I'd be ready to get back out.  But - I can stay in a hot tub forever.  Ok, so this isn't really a hot tub, but I love the jacuzzi tub..  In fact, all this talking about it makes me want to go take a bath right now.  It's s chilly in here and the city lights are shining bright ... and a bath sounds like a perfect way to start my evening.

So, have a great evening folks.  Hope you enjoyed the tour.  At a minimum - if you made it this far - thanks for tolerating my blathering on.  But it just feels good to feel like I'm "home."

Shanghais and ShangLows

As Jeff reminded me a few times over the past three days, there will be “Shanghai” days, and “Shang-Low” days here. 

This week’s Shang-low moments have included …

…returning from vacation to learn that since it’s October, the PTB have shut off the air conditioning.  Even though it’s hot and humid outside (and about 90 degrees at home). 

And we can’t open the windows because we have cats and we’re on the 49th Floor. Andwhen we examine the windows and think, "nah, no way they’ll even try to get up here," then open just a couple – which brings sweet relief – we learn that yes, indeed, at least one can – and will – jump up and sit on the edge of the window, not caring that it’s 40+  stories up. … … …

So, after bribing him down with a treat, we realize that until we can devise some sort of screen, we really cannot open any windows regardless of how hot it is. So, we sweat. And hope it turns cooler fast.  

…walking into the laundry room to see water dripping from the ceiling onto the back of the washer where the plug is, and splashing directly onto the outlet where washer and dryer are plugged in. 

And when I report this electrical hazard to the property manager, the response is as follows: 

“Lots of people in this [building] have the same problem; it's because of the weather-typhoon in Shanghai these days.

[We] suggest that you can do some cleaning with buckets and mops. When the rain stops it will be good as usual.”

Uhm...Huh? Really?? I guess so, provided that there is no electrical short or anything. So, anyway, I unplug the washer, wipe up the water, put a bucket on top the washer (which can’t be moved much at all due to the drainage tube going into the floor), and set a timer to remember to empty it every few hours.  And then, when the rain stops, plug the washer back in and hope it works.  

Leaking about a gallon an hour ... for two days.  Thank goodness we were home.

…deciding that since it’s pouring outside, to eat in – only to discover that something went klafooey with the oven and I can’t get it to turn on. At all. No matter which button I push, it just reads STOP. 

And, while the landlord left all the “assembly” instructions of every piece of (already assembled) IKEA furniture in the place, we have no user manuals for any of the electronics. So I have no idea whether I’m just pushing the wrong buttons or something’s wrong with the stove. And so I Google the model number for 30 minutes, trying to find an online version of the manual, even though the internet is acting up again, cutting out every 3-4 minutes. And, it's just impossible to get to the “real” Google, even when on a US VPN, because it just keeps reverting to Hong Kong Google. In Mandarin. And the translator keeps crashing, so can’t read it.  Then I just give up and decide that Jeff has to cook because he knows how to cook everything on or with anything.

~~~

But then … when the rain stopped and I went out to market, and decided to try using a few of the Mandarin words I’m learning, and all the ladies stop and laugh and clap, nodding their heads. And I feel like I just won the National Spelling Bee!!! (But all I really did was say 49? in Mandarin … badly). 

And then I decided to see whether the repairs to the tub last week actually worked. And they did!  The tub fills up in only 10 minutes, and the jets work, and the tub no longer leaks when the jets are on! And ... it’s awesome!!!  This tub is so big I need to stretch to reach the other side!

 

And ... :::drum roll::: ... I learned that our sea shipment is scheduled for delivery – FINALLY – this Friday, which makes me dance around the place like a crazy woman. Our “glamping” days are ending, and I can’t say how glad I am about that!

Now, I'm trying NOT to count chickens and all that.  Things get delayed - often.  But it’s hard. I’m so ready for our stuff to get here! I’ve been “glamping” since July 18th – in what turned out to be an unsuccessful attempt to shorten the time we did without our stuff while here. 

I’m ready to have my bathrobe back. And our bed!!! And a dresser to put my clothes (and … well, some different clothes will be great too). And our dining room table. And an actual wine glass, because it’s just not the same drinking wine out of a red solo cup. And a wine opener that actually works. And our potato peeler – I had no idea how much I used it until I didn’t have it.  And our good knives and a few more pots and pans and dishes.  And our camera cords, so we can download (and upload) pics from our travels.  And to have a few of our “favorite things” hung up on these very bare, very white (or slightly pink and/or slightly purple) walls.

Fingers crossed for Friday delivery!

 

(Of course, once it all gets here, I’ll be stressing about the fact that I packed and shipped too much stuff and don’t know where to put it all.  Because I know that I packed up way more than the list of things above, which are all the things I actually really miss………………) 

Update on the furkids* ...

A couple people have asked how Majerle and Gracie are doing.  The answer is that they're adjusting well for the most part.

Neither one of them have liked riding in the car much, since we first adopted them.  But Gracie really seemed to hate it.  She'd start howling as soon as I put her in the crate and only stop when I got her back out.  

So I wasn't really looking forward to the 7+ hour ride to LAX.  (We drove them (and us) to LAX because the temperatures in Phoenix in mid-August are just too high for pet air travel -- even though the cargo hold is temperature controlled once the plane is flying, there's still a period of time of sitting on the ground where it is just deemed not safe.)  Fortunately (for us), Gracie generally quieted down after about the first hour and did well. Majerle was mostly quiet although he would stand up, watch out the window, then meow at us a bit every so often.   

We stayed at the Sheraton right by the airport over night, as the pet taxi folks were scheduled to pick them up 9:30 the next morning and - if we stayed close - they'd pick them up from our hotel and take them directly to the airport -- which was one less transfer the cats would be subject to so I was all for it.

They were generally quiet and nervous in the hotel - a whole new space with new smells. Both of them spent most of the time hiding behind something -- either the chair in the corner or behind the TV in the armoire piece. (First thing I did when we got in the room before I let them out of their crates was to make sure that the "under bed" space wasn't accessible. I had nightmares of having to dig them out from under the bed in the morning.  It was a great relief not to have to do that.  The hotel was great - when I realized our room didn't have a freezer, I asked the folks downstairs if they could freeze the furkids' water.  (PetRelocation.com recommended that we freeze the water, so that it wouldn't spill on first transfer and would slowly thaw, giving them cool water for several hours.)

Anyway, the pet taxi folks who partner with PetRelocation arrived the next morning.  I'm sure people near the entrance of the hotel thought I was surrendering them or something because yes, I cried.   The pet taxi guy asked me whether they'd flown before, and I said "no."  He laughed and said, "they don't have a clue what is happening then, do they?"  Uh .. when he saw my face. Then he assured me that they'll be just fine.  

We got them both in the back of his little mini van and I said goodbye.  And off they went. (He was very efficient and that was a good thing - longer the process, the more upset I would be, so I was glad he was transferring them fast and all that.)  

And then, off they went.  I walked around a bit to get it together before returning to our room to pack up our stuff.

They were scheduled to fly out at about 1:45 but the plane was delayed a few hours.  Of course I didn't know that as we were scheduled to fly out ourselves at about the same time, so even though I had signed up for flight following, I also had already turned my phone off before any delay messages came through.   

When we got to our hotel in Shanghai, I checked messages and saw that they had arrived in Amsterdam.  I didn't notice the delay in arrival, but it ended up having "consequences" as - from what I understand, the delay out of LAX resulted in them being held over another full day in Amsterdam.   I didn't learn about this -- that they weren't on their scheduled flight from Amsterdam to Hong Kong until after they'd been scheduled to arrive in Hong Kong.  That was a little disconcerting.  But - flight delays happen (on our last trip to Shanghai, we ended up getting here a day late because we were delayed out of Phoenix and by the time we'd gotten to SFO, the plane to Shanghai had already left.  The *good* thing, from my perspective, was that they were delayed in Amsterdam, not in Hong Kong.  KLM, the airline that they flew, has a wonderful "pet hotel" just for furkids like Majerle and Gracie who are flying around the world.

Anyway, since they were delayed out of Amsterdam, they would not arrive in Shanghai until Tuesday, rather than Monday as we'd thought they would.  (Well, originally we understood that they'd not get to Shanghai until Tuesday, but then we learned that they were scheduled on a flight to get them here on Monday ... until they missed their flight out of Amsterdam.)

Finally (or so it seemed to me), I was able to go get them at the airport in Shanghai.  And that's when things got a little crazy, due to what I can only fairly describe as a series of miscommunications/misunderstandings between myself and my relocation company.   

As an aside:  The MOST IMPORTANT thing to know is that both Majerle and Gracie arrived safe and sound, physically and mentally.  Another important thing to know is that, while there were  some miscommunications, I share the responsibility AND, even so, the company has more than "made things right" by proactively listening to my story and asking me what could make it right, and then making it right -- making actual changes to processes to ensure that things don't happen again.  Flight delays happen.  Miscommunications happen.  Busy customers who have 1,000 things to think about sometimes hear things wrong or don't hear them at all.  And everyone is human and can make honest mistakes.  What matters most to me is that (a) my furkids arrived safe and sound, (b) PetRelocation was great to me, and (c) PetRelocation made some changes to processes based on how things are here in Shanghai and ... how things played out.   I fully expect that I will use PetRelocation when we return to the states based on how they professionally and graciously handled the entire situation - and can recommend them to others.  

Anyway, two heroes saved me that day (the furkids were fine; I was a basket case):  "Mr. C," our driver, and J's wonderful secretary "Ms. E."  They worked the phones for a couple hours figuring things out (and, with Mr. C, continually telling me that it'll be ok - they will figure it out.)   When there was some issue with the paperwork and the shipping company didn't want to release the cats, it was Mr. C who ... uhm ... spoke persuasively, and Ms. E, who found, then provided, information that convinced them I was who I said I was and those cats were mine!

Anyway - all I can say about that is that I was a basket case for a few hours, and I can't recall when I was so relieved as when we had them in the back of the van and were driving back to our place. That trip was hard, because their crates were wired shut and - huge, obviously - so they were in the back and I was in the front.  It took us about an hour to get back home.  Ugh.  But -- we did.

And, finally, they were HERE.  Out came the wire cutters and all that.  I'd expected to need to bathe them after such a long trip but both they and their crates were clean (enough).  So, that was one less trauma (for both of us, as they both hate baths!)

Gracie was - pretty much - a leech.  She would not get off me - and while on me, she insisted on being up at my face.  

I kept trying to get pics of both of them to post on Facebook that they were here, but it was almost impossible with her because ... this is how she was.  For a long while.

Eventually, she was content to sit on my lap for a while.  But when I got up to go to the bathroom .. or anywhere, she was like a little puppy following me around, then jumping up on me.

Essentially, Gracie was .. attached for pretty much the first 24 hours or so.   When I went into the kitchen, she'd stop to get a drink for a bit, but only for so long as I stayed near.  Soon as I left, she would too.

 

 

Gracie cuddling me after she arrived.

Majerle, on the other hand ... not so much.  I had also shut all the doors to rooms to give them an enclosed space, but Majerle anyway, was having none of that.  

After spending some time drinking up, he promptly went to the first closed door (kitchen) and meowed at it, until I opened it.   He'd not even explore that space before going to the next door and meowing at it until I opened it.  So, within about 10 minutes, all the doors to all the rooms were open in the house.

Majerle would come over every once in a while but wouldn't let me pet him initially. He'd just rub up against me then walk away to explore again.  

Then he'd come back to me for a while longer, and even sit up on the couch beside me (us). Never for long, but for little bits of time.

Eventually, he did let me pet him.  But he was pretty restless for the entire day. 

Waking up together in Shanghai

Tbe next morning, though, all was well in Shanghai.  I woke up to Majerle curled up with me, along with Gracie just a few inches away.   And, they stayed that way pretty much the entire day: sleeping, and sleeping, and sleeping some more.

Then, they ate a bit, and got a drink, then slept some more.

By Thursday, Majerle was back to exploring some, then napping, then exploring.  Gracie was back to being a leech, then napping (usually on me), then being an active leech on me again (I could not type or do much of anything.  She was THERE, insisting that I pet her, talk to her, actively BE with her.)

They've been slowly adjusting.  In part, it is hard - especially for Majerle I think - because our sea shipment is not yet here, so we still have a lot of wide open spaces, with very few places to hide.  He loves hidey holes, but -- other than the bed and the couch - there just aren't any.  He used to get in the closet (much to our dismay, actually, but the doors were such that we couldn't prevent him from doing so) anytime he wanted a break from his little sister (who can be really annoying!! she is such an attention whore.  seriously! she must think she's a dog or something....)

So, they are "arguing" (cough cough) more than they did before.  And I haven't yet found ways to stop that.  I separate them but then MAJERLE comes back and insists on engaging Gracie again.  Which I find very weird.  He gets so annoyed at her for trying to play - growling, hissing, etc etc.  But each time I separate her and give him space in a room and distract her, he just comes back for more.  ::: shrugh ::: I'm hoping that when our stuff comes and he has his "space" that used to be HIS space ... on the bed, on the dresser, and the like, that they'll stop -- or at least reduce -- their squabbling.

The funny thing is that while they really do squabble like an older brother and younger sister, all that stops -- immediately -- when someone "new" comes.  (And, so far - given that there are still certain things that need fixed and the like -- someone is coming virtually every day.)  When the door bell rings, they're suddenly very close buddies.  It generally goes like this: They run behind the couch in my office (which I pulled away from the wall so they'd have a hidey place).  And they listen, peeking under the couch.  Majerle, who gets sooooo tired of Gracie, is such a "big brother."  He will watch with her, then just look at her until she settles down, sometimes nudging her, always looking straight at her.  Then, and only then -- once she's settled down and closed her eyes, he'll decide to take a nap too.  If she wakes up, he's immediately watchful and watching her.  Then, once she calms down again, he'll close his eyes and take another nap too.  

They stay this way (whether awake or asleep) -- face to face -- until the place is quiet again. Then Majerle will venture out and check out the place to make sure that no one is here. Then he'll come back in on the couch and meow a bit, and then (and only then) Gracie will come out from behind the couch.  And - half the time (at least), they'll just start squabbling again as if they weren't the sweetest siblings 30 seconds before ....

And - Majerle has his new "garage door."  Back in Phoenix, Majerle always insisted on going out into the garage in the evening.  (Gracie never did.)  He'd meow at the door while Jeff was cooking or I was cleaning, until we let him out there.  Twenty minutes later, he'd be ready to come back in. Here -- he does the same thing at the kitchen door, insisting that we let him out into the laundry/storage room area.

Majerle:  "Let me OUT!! "

He is also not at all yet done exploring the territory.  No matter what door or drawer I open, he is in it before I can stop him.  

Majerle exploring little spaces...

Gracie is a little less in-my-face, but not all that much.  She's constantly up here, on my desk, while I'm trying to work, insisting that I pay attention to her.  Then, she'll settle down for a bit, anyway, so long as she can be beside me....

Gracie:  "I don't care that you want to type, I want you to play with ME."

As it was back home in Phoenix, both Majerle and Gracie like to be up on my desk beside me, as I work (or play) ... my desk is much smaller, so they now have to take turns ...

Gracie, chilling on my desk.

Majerle getting some love  atop my desk too.

So, they're adjusting well over all, but I think it'll take some time (and the delivery of our "stuff" that they're used to being with and on) before they are fully comfy and realize that this really is their home ... for a while anyway.

~~~

*Special thanks to Pam Barklage for permission to "borrow" her term, "Fur Kids." It is a perfect moniker for, well, my furry "kids."

Making the Leap ...

“What’s important is that you make the leap. Jump high and hard with intention and heart. Pay no mind to the vision that the commission made up. It’s up to you to make your life. Take what you have and stack it up like a tower of teetering blocks. Build your dream around that.” 

~Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things:  Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar.

The countdown is in full swing now.  It's getting really real.  

Twenty-eight years ago this month, my mom, dad, two sisters and I embarked on a cross-country trip.  We drove to a college in Tennessee, where my sister T had received a scholarship.  Once T was settled in her new dorm, we continued on to San Angelo, Texas, where I would finish my college education thanks to a scholarship.  I had never been to Texas before, but had always wanted to go there.  I had been wanting to "get away" for a long long time.  I was excited beyond words.  

My dorm was still "under construction" when we got there, so I moved into a temporary dorm room.  Mom, Dad, and M helped me get my stuff settled in then turned around and started driving back home.

And there I was.  My dream had come true.  I had finally "gotten away."

And within about an hour after they left, I was terrified.   Sick with fear and dread.  What was I doing?  How was I going to function - everything was weird there.  Brown and flat and ... weird.  And huge: I'd gone from living near a town of 600 to living in a "city" of 80,000.  I had a car (my lovely 1972 Dodge Dart) -- but had no idea where to go to find anything and was terrified of getting lost.  (Alas, this was long before google maps and iPhone direction apps.)  

The first two months there were the hardest two months of my life.  Everything was different.  The land, the weather, the people, even the language.  Or at least it seemed that way to me.  People talked with this accent such that I couldn't understand 60% of what they were saying, and I talked so fast they didn't understand what I was saying.  And the food was weird.  I understand that most kids gain weight when they go away to college.  I lost at least 10-15 pounds in my first semester, because I couldn't get used to the weird food.  I craved Mom's green beans, potatoes, and hamburger dinners.  Anything simple. Anything from home.

I eventually acclimated and ended up spending eight years in Texas.  I graduated with my elementary education degree and luckily found a job immediately up in Richardson, Texas. It was there that I met Karen, my "boss," who would become one of the most important people in my life -- with whom I learned so much about myself and my place in the world and how to live joyfully in my own skin.   Alas, that's another story for another time.  I share this only to say that I thought I knew why I was going to Texas when I applied to 20+ schools there.  I was going to "get away" and see the big world "out there."  It was only years later, that I figured out that I went to Texas to find Karen.  I just didn't know it at the time. 

 ~~~

This whole thing feels kind of like "going to Texas" -- on steroids.   I'm so excited about this.  It is such a great chance to expand our experiences and our world, to travel to places we've not yet had the chance to see, to immerse ourselves in another culture and experience the world "outside the bubble" of the US.  It's a great career opportunity for my husband too.  

I'm somewhat terrified too.  Next week this time, assuming all goes well, we will be unpacking some suitcases in our new home, or out shopping for some basics.  And life as I've known it will be ... very different.   I will be the foreigner, the minority, the immigrant. I will not be able to read the dials on my washing machine or the microwave in my new home.  I will not be able to communicate with my neighbors, or the grocer, or the waiter, or the doormen and receptionists at our apartment. I will not be able to read maps, menus, or ingredient listings on packages at the grocery store. I will not recognize many of the vegetables in the produce section.  I will not know where to get my phone changed to the network in China, or how to explain what I need when I find where to go.  I will not know how to get ... virtually  anywhere -- or how to explain where I need to go.    It's going to take some getting used to.

But I'm still taking this leap. 

And some day -- maybe a year from now, maybe ten -- the real "whys" will make themselves known.   

The Tracking Phase Begins

So, we're in the tracking phase now.  

Air shipment - arrived in China; now being processed through customs.  

Sea shipment - departed US; estimated arrival by end of August.

Cat import papers - in process.  Yes, this whole cat import process is, by far, the most complicated part of the entire move process.  Seriously.  There really is a lot more going on in this move than getting the cats there -- but getting the cats there is the hardest part.  

First, cats must have received required shots more than 30 days, but less than 365 days, before travel.  So, even though Majerle got his 3-year rabies shot August 10, 2012, he had to get another one in late June, because the last  3-year shot was given (barely) more than a year before.

Second, not more than 10 days before travel, we have to get checkups and health certificates for Gracie and Majerle, which then must be mailed to the local USDA office in Albuquerque, New Mexico, who will officially endorse the certificates and mail them back ... hopefully in time for the trip.  The paperwork must be filled out "just so" (in blue ink) or there is a real risk of problems.  And finding out, once cats are in Hong Kong, that there's a problem with the paperwork would ... be a very bad thing.  

So - on Wednesday, Gracie and Majerle got to try out their crates for our trip to the vet to get the exam and health certificate documents.  The good news:  Gracie will, eventually, stop meowing when riding in a car.  I wasn't sure, so decided to leave early and just ride and ride to see what happens.  I learned that it takes about 15 minutes for her howls to wind down to whimpers ... then, so long as you keep moving, the whimpers get fewer and fewer.  Right up until you hit a red light and need to stop. Then the howling starts all over.   (Majerle, of course, just sits there quietly - looking very aggravated-ly from her to me with a "make her shut up!!" look on his face.)  The 6 hour trip to LA is going to be ... interesting.  But that's another story.  

Anyway, while neither cat likes to be crated, the "good" thing was that, once we got to the vet where there were other critters and lots of people, they were just fine staying in their crates, thank you very much.  Which was a good thing, because the process took quite a while.  Our absolutely wonderful vets at Dear Creek Animal Hospital, particularly Dr. Beth Robbins, spent quite some time  on Wednesday doing the health exam and getting all the required papers filled out exactly right (any errors and you need to start all over, so it was an adventure).  We faxed them over to Tobi to confirm everything was good and, once confirmed, we were done.  (Thank goodness for PetRelocation,who has this process down to a science.)   Well, except we needed one more original signature on a document - which had to be from a vet who wasn't in on Wednesday, so we'd have to wait until Thursday to get that doc.

Gracie and Majerle at the vet.

On Thursday, I got the final document and emailed to Tobi to make sure all was right -- and once approved, sent the package off.  

And, fortunately, it arrived in New Mexico right on time today.  

So, now, I'm tracking the next label, to confirm when USDA sends it back out. Fingers crossed that it will get to LA on time.  I'm very much looking forward to getting this process done.... !  I don't think I'll be able to really relax about this until I've picked them up at the Shanghai airport ... Tuesday, August 27 if all goes well.  

And, once they're there safe and sound, the rest is all ... gravy.  Of course, I'll be hoping our air and sea shipments get through customs and all that.  But really -- that's just "stuff."   Once Jeff and I -- and the kitties -- are back together in Shanghai, I'll just be very very happy.

 

Update:  The USDA's Arizona-New Mexico Veterinary Services Office called me just a bit ago as a courtesy to let me know that papers are in order and are going out this afternoon.  How is that for wonderful customer service?!

Majerle and Gracie will be traveling in style, continued

I wrote a week or so ago, about my decision to retain PetRelocation to help us get our cats moved with us.

While all the full nitty gritty details of their travel itinerary are still being finalized but, essentially, here's the plan.

First, we will  drive them from Phoenix to Los Angeles - because it's just too hot in Phoenix for them to travel from here to LA via plane.  (Certain restrictions prevent us from carrying them on the flight, so they would be in cargo).  So ... yep, that's gonna be a great eight-hour trip, given that Gracie starts howling soon as I put her in the little carrier (or the big crate), then really starts howling once I pick her up and put her in the car -- just to go to the vet.  Gonna. Be. Awesome. (not.)  I have to remind myself that a couple days will be just plain yukky, but it's much better than the alternative.  Anyway ... 

The next morning, the PetRelocation agent will meet up with us the next morning and handle their check in. They will not be going on our flight.  Because if they do -- if they were to fly with us straight to Shanghai -- they would have to go into quarantine for thirty (30!) days.  And we couldn't visit them during that time.  Instead, they will basically travel three quarters of the way around the world to avoid that whole process.  They will fly out of LAX to Amsterdam via KLM Airlines.  (I've never been there, though that was the country where J's last ex pat assignment a couple decades ago...)

In Amsterdam, they'll stay in the KLM Animal Hotel.    Yes, that's what it's called.  And they even have a video of it!

 

After a stint at the hotel, they'll travel to Hong Kong (via KLM) and have another sleep over with the PetRelocation agents there.   Then, they'll arrive in Shanghai  -- just a couple days after we will.  And I'll be standing at the gate waiting for them :).

In re Mocha

So.  I think it's clear how happy I am that Majerle and Gracie are coming with us.

But, I haven't said a peep about Mocha.  

What gives?

Well, I don't really want to talk about it - because it pretty much sucks.  But, if I'm going to write about this experience, I need to write about Mocha too.  So.  Ugh.

The facts:

1.  China regulations permit only "one pet per passport."

2.  We have two passports.  

3.  We have three pets:  Two indoor cats and one outdoor dog.

The options:

1.  Decline the job/life opportunity because it requires us to leave one pet behind.

2.  Find a way to "smuggle" one pet in in violation of the rules.  

3.  Draw straws to see which two go.

4.  Come up with various rationales why it'd be "better" for one to stay over the other two. For example, apply the seniority rule:  first in, last out.  Take the first two pets we adopted, find a loving home for the last one we adopted. 

5.  Sob incessently for hours (and hours) thinking about how Options 1-4 are really horrible horrible options and just refuse to make the decision because it's an utterly impossible decision to make.

The .....resolution:

I was stuck between 4 and 5.  For a while.  Then something happened which made the whole situation .. tolerable. Or as tolerable as it can be.  I can't say it's awesome - because Mocha is a wonderful wonderful dog and we both love her very much.  She's very much J's dog, but she loves me too -- and is just the most easy-going dog I've ever known.  

Then Mocha's "aunt" -- the woman who takes care of her all the time when we travel now -- asked me whether we would allow Mocha to stay with her while we were gone.   I won't share all the details of that situation for privacy reasons.  But -- she truly loves Mocha and we know  that Mocha just loves her.  And for a variety of reasons, the "timing" of this all was such that it would just ... work out.

NO, it's not "perfect" -- or anywhere near that -- that we won't have Mocha with us.  It's actually .. basically awful and everytime I think about it (like now) I just get all upset and ... i'm not a pretty cryer.

But it's pretty amazing that before we could even ask, the one other person in the world who is with Mocha weekly and loves her actually asked whether we'd be willing to allow Mocha to live with her. (And that's exactly what she asked me.)

So, that's the resolution.  Don't like to talk about it.  Don't want to talk about it.  But ... can't pretend that it's not happening.  And, as the days here with her wind down, it only gets worse.  I am comforted knowing where she will be and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that she will be happy and loved. But we  will miss her terribly.  And I can rationalize that it'd be hard for her there since she's been an outdoor dog for eight years, who would be stuck in a high rise all day except for walks .. and all that. But -- that all sounds weak even as I say it.  It just ... sucks!  I can't find another more appropriate word. And I honestly don't know what we would have done -- how we would have resolved the "one pet per passport issue" -- had it not worked out the way it did.  But -- it still sucks. It's the one and -- to date -- ONLY awful aspect of the ... whole deal, but it's pretty daggone awful.   Tolerable only because I know where she'll be and that she'll be ok and loved and happy.  And because she was wanted by her "aunt" so much so that I didn't even have to ask.

Ok.  I "came clean."  Not that it makes me feel one iota better to have done so.  But.  Still.  There it is.

Planning the (final) pack

When you're just a bit worried about exceeding baggage allowances, finding out that one of your big suitcases weighs 15.2 pounds - empty - is just a little disconcerting.  (I must say though that the  EatSmart Precision Voyager Digital Luggage Scale is a really cool little toyol. )

Now, just for context, let me start out by saying that normally the airlines' maximum weight and baggage rules do not concern me because we rarely have to worry about exceeding the weight or number of bag limits. For one, Southwest Airlines has a generous baggage allowance.  (I love Southwest.)  And J gets an extra baggage allowance when we fly US Airways thanks to all the his travel, so if we have one extra bag -- or extra heavy bag full of ski or scuba stuff -- it's still not an issue.  

And, most of the time, we each only travel with a carry-on in any event.   And, admittedly, we do have a pretty generous baggage allowance on the final move flight:  I  can check one 50 pound bag, and J can check three 70 pound bags -- for no additional fee.   

Yet, I've been trying to figure out how to maximize our allowance and am not sure we're going to be able to avoid an extra baggage fee.

Because, this trip is ... well ...  different.  

For one, there were so many restrictions on what we could pack in our sea shipment and air shipment that we'll have a few bags, and a couple of those will be heavy.  For example, we could not include any pastes - such as antiperspirant - in our shipments.  (Nor could we include any liquids like shampoo, etc.)    Now, that wouldn't be a big deal -- we can get many toiletries over there.  Go native, and all that. Except that it's virtually impossible to get the type of antiperspirant we in the USA like (need) to use in Shanghai.  I know this from scouring multiple multiple stores for several hours during our last trip.  The only types of deodorant I could find were (a) spray deodorant and (b) the old/vintage style roll-on type that I remember my parents using ... in the 70s.   And it was deodorant -- not antiperspirant.  Apparently, it's only expats who sweat like crazy in the humid Shanghai weather.   And that's just one example of things I couldn't find and/or don't expect to be able to find there that I (think I) will need.   So, we're packing that kind of stuff.

For another, it's not at all clear when we will get our air and sea shipments once we're over there - even though I scheduled the pack/shipment of all that stuff more than a month before we leave.   We could get one or both of them within two weeks after we arrive -- or two months.  So, I compromised when packing and held back enough clothes and that sort of stuff to last for a month (with a couple laundry days of course).

Then there's the cats.  They'll travel with us to LAX via car, then via air on their own (more on that later).  However, I need to transport them to vet a least once or twice more here -- then, when they get to Shanghai, we'll need to transfer them to smaller carriers.  So, I couldn't send those with shipment and have to haul them with us as well.  And, there's the fact -- according to friends living there now -- that one can go for weeks without being able to find cat litter in any store.  So. Yep.  Need to pack some litter too.  

So, my first step in "planning the final pack" was to weigh all available suitcases empty.  And the good news is that three of the wheeled ones we have are under ten pounds.  Except for the first   one I weighed, which really was 15.2 pounds empty.  (That suitcase is staying here.  Maybe when we come back, I'll find a way to use it as a piece of furniture, because it's now virtually useless as an air travel luggage option.  It's a pretty red.  I'm sure I'll find a use for it.....)

My second step was filling one of the wheeled duffles to see how much I could fit in it ... and not go over the 70 pound limit ... and make sure things were wrapped/protected enough that the chances of leaking or breaking were minimal.

So I first used a bunch of those "air packs" that come in, for example, Amazon packages on bottom, top and sides of the suitcase.  (Yes.  I am my mother's daughter and have been keeping them for a couple months, sure that I'd find a use for them...)  Then I put liquid stuff in hefty zip freezer bags -- then wrapped with another bag just in case the one bag broke.  (Did I admit that I am my mother's daughter yet?)  

Then, when it was as full as I thought I could get reasonably get it, I closed it up and weighed it: 

 

Maybe we'll make it within our allowance after all.  :)  Maybe.   

 

Shots ... and lessons learned re: insurance coverage for preventative care

I have gone back and forth and back and forth about whether and, if so, which shots to get before going to China.

I honestly think nothing would be necessary just to live in Shanghai.

But ... I'm married to an adventurer.  I know we'll be spending weekends exploring places elsewhere.  (We already have our first dive trip - to Borocay, Philippines - planned, but that's another story.)  

If  I were to follow the CDC guidelines, I'd be getting lots of shots.  If I were to follow the advice of some ex pats there now, I'd not get any.  

A few weeks ago, I talked to the folks in my doctor's office.  They weren't sure what shots they even had to give and encouraged me to go to a travel doctor.   So, I called my insurance carrier for help in finding a travel doctor in network.

Well, I was informed that travel doctors - and travel immunizations - aren't covered by insurance. However, they referred me to an infectious disease control doctor at the Mayo Clinic and explained that several (but not all) of the CDC-recommended shots could be provided (and covered) based on just living in Arizona.  I just needed the Doctor  to recommend them.  For sure, Hep A, Hep B, Tetanus, and polio update would be covered.

Hmmm. 

Well, called that doctor and he didn't provide shots, but the Mayo clinic could refer me to their travel doctor(s).  

Hmmm.

So I did a bit more research, then just called up my Primary Care Physician again last Friday and asked for an appointment to get some immunizations.  I listed the ones I thought I needed, to make sure they were in stock -- because when I'd called a month prior, they didn't have all in stock.

Surprisingly for this practice, they gave me a Monday morning appointment.  And, on Monday I met with a very helpful nurse practitioner and talked things through -- including whether she thought I should bite the bullet and go get more shots that they couldn't give from a travel doctor.

She recommended I get only two: Hep A and tetanus.   So, that's what I got.  One in each arm. When the shot-giver (she had a fancier title, of course) came in, she asked me which one I wanted where :)

Two days later, I don't think it made a difference.  Both arms were very sore yesterday, and both arms are just a little sore today.

I just hope I made the right decision.  (And that I'll remember to get the Hep A booster in 6 months....)

 

But I have to say that the discussion with my insurance carrier was ... unsettling.  Essentially I was told that if I say I want the shots because I'm moving to China, cost of the shots are not covered.  However, if I say I want the shots because I live in Phoenix -- i.e., as a general health care precaution like the flu shot, the cost is covered.  

When I asked, "Ok, so if I say I want the shots as a general precaution and because I'm moving to China, will that be covered?" -- the response was that so long as I say I want the shots as a general precaution, they would be covered.

I shared this experience with a friend who is just getting initiated into the world of medicare.  Her response was interesting (quoted with permission):

I had my first interaction with Medicare and I wasn't terribly impressed.  I spent weeks looking for a new "GP" doctor (mine was in DC and I want someone closer to home) and everyone I called refused to see new Medicare patients.  I finally found an older doctor, so I'll eventually have to find another when she retires.  The younger docs are refusing Medicare patients.  Anyway, I went for the "Welcome to Medicare Preventative Visit" to which all new Medicare recipients are entitled during the first 12 months of coverage.  The webpage says that the doctor will do a variety of things ... including send you for tests.  So, I went to the doctor and she sent me for mammogram and blood/urine tests.  

A month later, I get a bill from the lab for over $800 because Medicare refused to pay for the analyses of my blood and urine.  They paid the doctor to prescribe the tests.  They paid the lab to draw my blood.  And they paid the doctor for a second visit to discuss with me the results of my blood and urine analyses.  But they wouldn't pay for the analyses themselves!  (I assumed Medicare pays for "blood letting" since they pay for drawing the blood, but not analyzing it.  I wondered if they would have paid to have leeches applied.)  

[I]t was explained to me that the doctor requested "routine" blood/urine analyses when she should have coded the request for a particular "condition."  I said, "I don't have a condition.  These tests were totally routine."  It was explained to me that while I do not have to actually have a "condition" to have the analyses covered (this is, after all, a "preventative" visit), the doctor still has to code for a "condition" because Medicare only pays for "medically necessary" tests/analyses, not routine.  I couldn't believe what I was being told BY MEDICARE.  It sounded like Medicare fraud!  But this is the way Medicare works!  

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.